28 November 2007

A Message From My Brother

28 November 2007

" A Message From my Brother"

For those of you who know me, you know that I have a brother currently serving in Iraq.  He, too, is a medic and he, too, misses his family. 

He just wrote something the other night that I thought I would share with you all.  The holidays are coming so I hope that you keep this in mind when you are out and about.

And Mark...we are still all thinking of you.

"We all know what we see on the television late at night. A Nation at war with bullets that light up the night and explosions that almost seem to magnificent to be real.  Of course there's always going to be that 35 year old man who still pretends to be a soldier and tells all his buddies he was going to join and become a Ranger or Special Forces, but decided for what ever reason not to and there will always be those who say that they've done there part by sending a package or mailing a letter, but always seem to drop off shortly after. We who walk here know what we see.  Maybe not bullets flying or people dying, but still the disturbing sight will still stick with us forever.  The ruff necks wish for a fight and to draw there weapons to inflict pain and death....me, i just wish for a day without death.  I've done my part and mine wasn't to kill or strike fear into anyones hearts, but to save lives no matter who they are iraqi, american, or any enemy.  When we all go home please remember one thing and one thing only. You were not here and did not face what we faced.  You were not a ranger or green beret...or a soldier for that matter.  Please just remember that most of us were just kids trying to serve our country when no one else would.  We've given up so much so people could pretend to be something they are not in the privacy of there own homes and talk how they want.  So when you see a soldier don't ask them how many people they've killed or what they blew up, but just tell them thanks and leave it at that.  A simple thank you won't stop the nightmares or the PTSD, but it will let them know that they were not forgotten."

God Speed little brother.

Rounding Third and Heading Home,


14 November 2007

Top Ten Stupidest Calls

14 November 2007

"Top Ten Stupidest Calls"

A local news report out here had me thinking.  Are some people really that stupid when it comes to calling for the rescue squad?   I mean, c'mon, I know that to THEM it may seem like an emergency and all, but...well, I am gonna let YOU decide.

10.  A female had called the rescue squad because she "had a splinter in her finger and she has tried to spend the last two hours trying to get it out."  

Are you Fucking KIDDING ME?!?!?!

Unless the splinter is the size of a phone pole (in that case if she can't get it out, then she needs to get the crap beat out of her), you are gonna have me come to your house, you are gonna make me wheel you out on the cot, and take you to the emergency room so that some doctor can tell you what an idiot you are!!!  Save yourself the trouble, I will tell you that for a fraction of the cost.  I will still take you to the hospital..I am sure the nurses need a laugh.

9.  A gentleman called stating "I have hemroids and they really hurt."

Well, no shit Sherlock (no pun intended).

And what is it that you really want ME to do about it?  First of all, I don't want your stinky ass on my cot just in case one of your ass asteroids decide to burst. Clean up would involve some HAZ MAT  team to come and declare a federal emergency.  Also, there is this thing called Preparation H.  Take a guess as to what the "H" stands for.  If you have some, can you bring it with you? I want to rub it on you and see if you will go away.

8.  "My son just threw up."

Of course he did.....ONE TIME!!!!!

What he DIDN'T tell you is that your precious little angel wolfed down his bagel in two bites and upset his stomach as he tried to beat the land speed record posted by Guiness for "fastest digestion from tounge to toilet".  Way to go Johnny, your mom should be proud.

7. A man called in the middle of the night because he "couldn't sleep."

Tip #1. Stay OFF the crack, dipshit.

Tip #2. If you aren't on crack, disregard number 1...dipshit.

So, what is it that you want ME to do for you?  Let me put you in my truck and take you to the hospital with all the lights and sirens going.  Apparently, you can't make it to Walgreens (which are everywhere and open 24 hours....in a row) to get something tohelp you sleep.  How about I knock you in the head with my oxygen bottle? You will be rendered unconscious, and I will feel better...it's a win-win.

6. (By the way...these are all REAL calls)

"I am having a panic attack (okay,  you really WILL need an ambulance) and I am out of medicine so I need a ride to the hospital to get another script).

You should have stopped while you were ahead genius.  EMT does not stand for early morning taxi.  Let me get up and cater to your lazy ass because you ran out of medicine and want some more.  You think you are panicing now? Wait till you get the bill. Oh yeah, while your there..see if you can get a prescription for BUY A CLUE!!!

5. A female called because "I have a sore throat".

Obviously it wasn't too sore because you called 9-1-1 for an ambulance.  So, out of bed once again to come and Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave the day!!!!!

Don't even begin to ask for something for the pain, because all I am going to do is get the biggest needle I have and inject you with a high dose of SHUT THE FUCK UP...

4. Another female called......because "I have a wax build up in my ear."

I can't even write here.....just get in and shut up!!!!!

3.  A guy called because "I toked on some bad weed".

I wish you could see the smile on my face here.  First of all, let's call a public service entity because you did something illegal and now you want me to rectify it.  Next, you want to go to the hospital so that you can get "treated".  Finally, I am sure y ou will "never do that again."

Here is my take on that.  You are a dumb ass that should go to jail on the charge of larceny.  You are stealing my oxygen just being alive.  Second of all, you don't need a squad, you need a bag of Doritos and a Pepsi, but hey, I haven't used a 12 gauge needle in a while, and finally....well, you know I will see you next week after you snort cocaine for the first time.

2. A guy cut his index finger in the fashion of a papercut, calls the ambulance to take him to the hospital because he thinks "it could potentially be life threatening". 

TO WHO?????

To the nurse who has to scrub the 8 years of dirt off your hand just to see where it may have cut at?  Or to me, who has to whip in and out of traffic to get to you while some guy cross town is having a massive heart attack and I got pulled away because you think you could "die" from your scratch.  God, you make me want to puke.

The follow up to him...he took the bus home.

1.  A female who was having some sort of pain was in the waiting room and had been in there for several hours (Major city so you know it is gonna be a while).  I think the recorded time was 10 hours in the ER.  So, little miss can't be wrong decides "I will beat the system."  Leaves AMA and goes home...to call the ambulance....who ends up taking her BACK from where she just left......

...and put her right back in the waiting room....where she waited...for 6 more hours....

Nice Try!!!

I gotta run...I think someone who was dancing in circles is sdizzy...and needs the squad.


Rounding Third and Heading Home,