19 July 2006

More to Keep You Occupied

19 July 2006

"More to Keep You Occupied"

Okay..I had to share these with you all (the few that are left).

BELIEVE it or not ,
These are REAL 911 Calls!



Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller:
 I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
          &n bsp; house on the corner.

Dispatcher:
Do you have an address?
Caller:
  No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher
: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller
:   Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham
             and cheese sandwich
.

Dispatcher
: Excuse me?
Caller
:  I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
            table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
            taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher
: Was anything else taken?
Caller
:   No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired
            of it!



Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller:  
I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have
             an eleven on it.

Dispatcher:
This is nine eleven.
Caller:     I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher:
Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
                   thing.

Caller:    Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.


Dispatcher:
9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller:    
My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
              minutes apart

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller:    
No, you idiot! This is her husband!


And the winner is..........


Dispatcher:
9-1-1

Caller:  
Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
              Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher:
Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller:   I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

Dispatcher: !
Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller:  
No
Dispatcher:
What were you doing before you started having trouble
                   breathing?

Caller:  
Running from the Police
 
See why I have job security.....
 
Rounding Third and Heading Home,
M-

02 July 2006

The First Law in Ambulance Driving

02 July 2006

"The First Law in Ambulance Driving"

Here is a short, yet sweet "Murphy's Law" as in regards to operating the squad.

No matter how fast you drive the ambulance to a call, it will never be fast enough, untill you pass a cop then at that moment you will be driving entirely too fast. Unless you are responding to an officer down. then you cant drive fast enough.

Have a great Holiday Weekend all and be safe.

Rounding Third and Heading Home,

M-