29 October 2004

The One That Got Away

28 October 2004

"The One That Got Away"

As I sit here and decide as to how to post, I am overwhelmed with a grief proceeded by a heavy heart from the ensuing shift and the valleys that it had left within the Emergency Services within our area.

I am not going to mention the stupidity of some that call the ambulance which is, in its own way, entertaining and thought provoking to a point.

I am not going to tell the attributes of to the people that I interact with on the day to day basis and how their presence creates a commodary despite being either good or bad.

I AM going to give you the insight as to a call that had happened here just down the block from where I live. The aspect as to what I saw...and what I thought.


Plugging the truck back in, Kim came around the front and asked "Are you going back to bed?"

With only 90 minutes left in the shift, I contemplated "should I or shouldn't I?"  I mean, was it really worth it. By the time I got back in bed and comfortable, it would be time to get up.

Naw..why waste it.

I hate mornings, I really do. However, once I get going there is really no stopping me.  All I need is a swift kick out of the bed and some of Folger's finest and I am a new person. 

Well, I got the out of bed part down.

Laying down on the couch in our private living room, I decided to flip on the playstation and go a few rounds on a new game that I had purchased.  Usually. when I played a game, the time would fly past and before I knew it, I was well past the goal that I had set as to when to stop.

Boots off, I hit the red button on the system making it green and prepared to do battle on the small, yet sharp screen hanging on the wall in the room.  Time to waste an hour.

Then the phone rang...

I paused the game...and waited...

and waited....

and heard my pager go off.

I guess I was up in the rotation.

No worries, this would burn the hour that I needed and by the time I got back, I could go home where some uninterupted sleep laid dormant awaiting my arrival.

Walking to the truck, I got into the passenger seat and looked to see as to what type of call I was going on.

No need to look. To my left, I saw Ken getting into his truck.  Two squads can only mean one thing...

Motor Vehicle Accident.

Opening the door of the truck, the computer voice "Emergency Pending" filled the apparatus bays with an echo that filled the air as if it told us the urgency of getting to where we needed to go.

Kim jumped into the driver's seat.

I pushed en route. 

With a roar of the diesel engine of the truck, the strobes and flashers of the squad bounced off the dismal sky lighting the already rain stricken town casting a warning as to our coming. 

The siren came on, the garage door closed, we pulled into traffic....the unknown was a few feet closer.

"91 responding with 93 second truck for an MVA at Lowell and Murray Ridge Rd.  Police are on scene and confirm injuries...." the voice over the radio informed us.

And then...

"91, police request you expedite your response."


A trigger word.  Hearing it, started an adrenalin flow throughout my body, a game plan in my head, and an alertness of my soul.

What was I going to find? How bad were they hurt?  Is the police oversizing the scene?  My stomach started to turn into knots.  The faster we went, the longer it felt that the scene was,

A message came over the MDT.

"Police are really getting nervous.."  the computer screen told.

Hitting "OK" to clear the message, Kim came down the bridge and around the corner to a long stretch of straight road. In the distance, I saw red and blue lights along with the familiar strobes of the fire pumper that is assigned to that district.  Traffic was backed for almost a half mile on a moderately travelled road.  The scene was getting closer, the anxiety grew fierce, it was almost time to do what we were trained for...it was go time.

About a quarter mile out from the scene, I noticed the scene lights from the fire vehicle turn on, raise, and point in a field...then I witnessed what could only spell trouble...

Firefighters running....never a good sign.

Pulling onto scene, I noticed what was once an SUV sitting in its remains in the middle of the street.  Through the remains of the window, I saw two people sitting in their assigned seats. Both conscious, both alive, both lucky.  A firefighter assisted in intial immobilization by placing a collar on the patient...Then....it got worse.

Looking to my right, I noticed a car in the field. A firefighter sprinting to the passenger side of the car throwing his gloves off to the ground.

As we stopped, a cop opened the door. His face was pale and is body language anxious and excited. He pointed to the car waving his hand with a little child's  movement as to say "He did it..he did it."

"I think she may be dead..you better hurry." His voice shreaked of terror.

Pointing to the other car, I motioned for Kim to check the SUV as I ran down to the lone fireman in the field.  What I saw was not good. What I saw, heightened my, already red lined, anticipation. What I saw tunneled my thoughts.

Inside the vehicle sat a lone female still strapped in by her safety belt leaning over to the passenger seat....lifeless.

"I can't..I can't feel a pulse!!!" the firefighter yelled.

Checking for a carotid, I closed my eyes and prayed that I would feel the beat of her heart pulsating through my index finger.


Running back up to the truck, Kim and I updated each other.

"I got two that probably aren't going to go. What do you have??" She informed and asked.

Running right past her, I talked over my shoulder as to not get side-tracked.

"I got a possible trauma arrest..call it in!!" I said as I ran away from her with the monitor from the truck.

Hearing Kim call in the calvary on the radio, I ran down to assess the female in the car.  

Looking at her lifeless and apnec body, my head told me that there was nothing we could do. She was dead and beyond my help. My heart told me not to let go.  In 15 seconds, I was going to find out which one was right...I attached the leads to her body.

A flat line appeared....


A heartbeat.......

Then another........

and another........

The rhythm was too slow to have a pulse and for all intents and purposes, the patinet had expired in the car....

That wasn't good enough for me. For me, it was a sign of life, a sign of hope, a shred of light, and I was going to take it.

I yelled for more gear.  I was going to do whatever it took..even if it was beyond my means.

The car was flooded with a barroge of help handing equipment to help preserve the little life we had. On the driver's side, I could look out and see two firemen running with the generator used to power the Jaws of Life unit.  I needed them to cut that car...and I need them to do it now.

With a pull of the cord, the unit came to life. The extrication began. Her feet were wedged under the steering column. Her body wedged by the two foot intrusion of the door wedging her against the center console of the car.  The extrication team had their work cut out for them...the clock was ticking.

Meanwhile, we worked on our patient.  Craig came down from the other truck to help.  I asked Craig to intubate her..I needed to get a patent airway...and this was not going to be easy.


Because it was dark out, we had no light, the patient was still sitting up, and there was absolutely no room to maneuver.

Suctioning out the patient, Craig grabbed a 7.0 ET tube and went for an insertion.  Shaking his head, Craig doubted the proper insertion and placement of the tube.  Kim listened for lung sounds.  Nodding, the tube was in place. I ventilated with a bag valve mask as Craig secured it.  Alternating with chest compressions, there was no resistance to bagging. The tube was good. All I needed now to do was to get her out. Fire worked feverishly to get her out.

The seconds became minutes..An eternity overwhemled all of us as we scrambled to get everything ready for her transport. We waited for the go ahead from fire....and waited...and waited....

Minutes later, the door was free. A firefighter reached in and freed her feet. Craig and I pulled her over the console and onto our awaiting backboard.  Strapping her in, I ran up to the truck to get ready for her to be loaded. 

It felt like hours we were there. It was only 18 minutes.

Locking the cot into place, the supervisor came up to us telling us that the driver of the other car was having some chest pain and that I would not have the help of the other crew.

Pulling a firefighter that helped extricate, I asked him to go with us as we would need the help.  A paramedic also, it gave, yet one more set of hands that were needed to continue ressucitation of this woman. 

Calling to the supervisor, I told him that I needed Kim in the back with me and asked if he could drive.  Giving no hesitation to my request, he jumped up front and started the descent to the hospital.

En route, we began to get a more stable and thorough aspect as to what were up against.  Checking the monitor, there was no change in the rhythm..and no change in her condition.  Kim and the Firefighter/Medic tried for IV access while I called the hosptial.  We continued CPR..we continued breathing for her...we continued to try to save her life.

Within minutes we arrived at the hospital and moved her over to the bed. I gave report to the nursing staff.  The doctor came in. The curtain closed....

Fifteen minutes later..she was dead.

As an EMS personnel, we are trained to think "on the fly". To comphrehend a game plan and execute it within seconds.  We are sworn to preserve life and promote healing.  This was all part of my job, this is what I do.

This is not what I thought on scene.

When I looked at her for the first time, I didn't see a victim. I didn't see a lifeless body, I didn't see a casualty of a misfortune.

I saw a mother laying in bed, sound asleep keeping warm through the cold night...be disturbed by a telephone call...telling her that her daughter died.

I saw a woman who still had decades ahead of her to live her dreams and celebrate the miracle of just being alive.

I saw a family mourning the loss of a daughter, a sister, a friend.

This young lady was not drinking and driving, nor was she doing drugs. She was on her way to work..when she misjudged a stop sign.

She was only 22.

As I write this entry, I retrospect the events of the day. When I closed my eyes, I can still see her face. I can still flush sorrow through my blood.  I sit here and mourn....not only over the loss of the life, but the lives that will be changed by it...forever.

I sit here and I cry....

...for the one that got away.


Rounding Third and Heading Home,




21 October 2004

And on the Seventh Day...Part II

21 October 2004

When we last left our superheroes..

There it was...two cars (more like a car and a van) which looked to be almost a head on collision with airbag smoke still in the air ambiating..leaving a mark.

Getting out to evaluate the scene, a huge crowd of on-lookers took their places on the sidewalk resembling more of an angry mob ready to snap at any given moment.  Last thing I need is to become a marathon runner, because I swear, if this crowd goes rampid, you will see the quickest marathon in history.

Looking over my Left shoulder, I could see familiar blue lights which only meant one thing.

Police...and lots of them.

Remind me to vote "yes" in their levy.

Three of them handled crowd control, one started to assess the scene. I started counting patients.



Now it was time to play everyone's favorite game show "Who wants to be transported to the Hospital?"

Below, Right click the mouse, then "Open in new window", minimize, then continue reading


Tell them the rules, Bob!!

Well viewers, Our contestants will be asked a series of questions pertaining to their incident and if they remember as to events of the accident, they will have the chance to sign off on the golden "no treat/no transport" form.  But....

If they are unable to produce the correct answer, it will result in a loss and they will take the trip....to the hospital forfeiting all of their rights to change their minds. All contestants will receive full immobilization and other greatprizes..just for playing. Now..we have the stage, we have the players, we have the incident....Folks...lets play "Who wants to be transported to the Hospital?" 

Okay..you can stop the music.

Beginning to triage the patients, it seemed that the scene was not as bad as it looked.  Only one person really wanted to go. The rest seemed fine...for now.

"91, dispatch, go on and continue a supervisor to the scene and continue the slow rolling truck..6 patients, only one wants to go." I keyed up and told the dispatcher.

This was going to be easy. Crowd was contained, only one to transport, fire already had him packaged....lock and load, right?

Remember..Traumatus is watching.

Mike, my supervisor arrived on scene and I gave him the cliff notes version as to what was going on. Seeing there were 6 patients, a supervisor is to come to scene to help with the care and get paperwork if needed.

He bagan to do a secondary survey of the scene while I got our patient ready to go.

90 seconds later, he came back, with the look of a deep sigh on him.

"The other two in the car want to go now..complaining of pain now and want to go." he told me with the sound of resentment.


You have GOT to be kidding me!!! 

SO, in the time you have been sitting here after I had assessed you and you didn't want to go, you ALL OF A SUDDEN need to go to the hospital.  Oh I see, Your buddy is going and you decided that it would be best to keep him company in the squad.  Well, FINE..you want to go.I will take you...and your "you know, now it hurts" friend with me!!!

Getting on the radio, I had the second squad bumped up to get here as soon as they can.

Shaking my head..I began to board and immobilize the second and third patient.  What else could go wrong...

This is where I insert my foot in my mouth...

Mike comes back scratching his head as if he were the bearer of bad news....

Remember that self restraint we talked about...

"Okay, NOW the two in the van want to go too to get checked out." He told me.


Well ain't that a bite of the old crap pie!!!

My accident scene just turned into a MCI incident. Being the lead paramedic on scene..I quickly became incident commander.

I wonder if I get hazard pay for this?

I had Mike get me yet another squad seeing that ours didn't have the bunk bed feature and I don't think I would have had the patience to deal with them all.

Okay...time to switch attitudes here..

I put on my Game face...time to run the two minute offense.

Taking a page from the Old West, I quickly "deputized" (not really, I have no legal power) both the police and fire to start assisting me in patient care.

Pointing to certain directions as to where to take the patients, the coordination became fluent and within a few minutes, all patients were locked and loaded.

Now comes the fun part...

"Dispatch..notify EMH and let them know I have five patients en route right now." I told them.

I am sure I was going to make their day.

Six minutes later, we were at the hospital..a VERY packed hosptial.

Remember the scene from "Bringing out the Dead" where the lobby and the ER was packed? Envision that..time 3.

22 beds in the ER..all full plus hallway beds stacked..and I was bring in five more...

<insert evil laugh>

Oh..it gets better.....

Now with the ER over capacity..the nurses were pulling out their hair as to what to do and where to go..it was not pretty...then...

The Med phone rang...

A squad was coming in....

With a full arrest......

And the shot at the buzzer is....GOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!

The icing on the cake has been frosted..and I can't say that I am all that suprised.

The night calmed down after that. I think Traumatus had an early morning tomorrow to another unsuspected victim....

Good, let him pick on someone else.....

Rounding Third and Heading Home,






20 October 2004

And on the Seventh Day....

20 October 2004

"And on the Seventh Day..."

Taking a whole shift off to try to regain some balance in your life can be detrimental and upsetting to Traumatus, the God of EMS.  For some reason, it is considerred a mortal sin to take off a shift without some sort of penalty that must be accepted upon one's return to the battlefield.

Today is no exception, and because it was me, I had to deal with a penalty deemed worthy of the EMS God.

My Penalty.....Self Restraint.


Here I am...back from the dead. Six days off in a row can do wonders for the body (and the checkbook) but, alas, it is time to get with the program and head on back into the grind...and offer my body to the Gods for sacrifice.  The question that remained now is, how long would it take until the hits just keep on coming.

Start your stopwatch.





Time of death...0822.


"Hey Mike, do you want to take this call seeing you and your partner are the only ones here from the new shift. You can take 93 seeing 91 is in back getting oxygen." My Supervisor asked us.

Sure why not.

I mean..a fall...you pick them up, put them in their chair, and tell them to have a nice day.

This is where my thinking usually gets me in trouble.

This is where I am right.

At least I am consistent.

Opening the door to the house, I am met by a female in her 40's ranting and raving at us, yelling at the top of her voice demanding we pick up her mother off the floor.

Okay..I don't DO commands.  If you call me, it is because YOU can't handle the situation well enough and you need my assistance...that is why they call it HELP.

Assessing the patient, it had been apparent that this woman had a LOT more problems with her than a "fall". 

Sitting on the floor, the patient only responded to verbal stimuli and had drooling coming from the mouth. Her lungs were wetter than Florida's coastline after four hurricanes.

She was bad, she needed to go. There was only one thing in my way.

The Daughter.

Continuing to scould her mother, who had no idea as to what was happening, her voice was pushing my tolerance level to the limit.

"Ma'am..you need to calm down." I told her in a professional manner.

With that remark, the skies turned black, the Earth started to rumble, A howling wind sheda frost-ridden ribbon of cold across the skies. Fire and brimstone began to fall.

Armageddon was here.

"You did NOT just tell me to calm down!!!" She yelled at me.

Uh..yes I did..I am not one of your family members you can bully and for what I make, I am not your punching bag either.

Have a Coke and shut the heck up.

My partner went to get the cot. I started to take vitals..leaving one hand on the radio ready to call the police to back her butt up if needed. 

She sat on the couch refusing to give up information when asked pertinent questions to the patient.

"What meds is she on, ma'am" I asked in a calm tone.

"I am not an RN, how should I know..Besides, I have to calm down"

Okay..that's it. Gloves are off.

"I didn't ASK you if you were an RN, now did I? I need to know what meds she is on and what I can and can't give her. If I don't know..she could die.  YOU are the one that wanted me to just put her on the couch and leave..so she could die there and you can say I did nothing. NOW, you either help me out, or I call the police. I tell them what is up and they will investigate you for elder abuse. Your story is NOT matching up and my patience are running REAL thin...Take a second to figure it out..I will be here."

I felt like David up against Goliath...without the stone.

The call got worse as so did the patient.

The infuriousity of the patient rose. I stood my ground.

"Well, I am not going up there." she said.

Good..do us ALL a favor.

I loaded the patient into the squad and started a better assessment. 

Apparently the patient, covered in urine, had been on the ground a little longer that told. How do I know this??

Because my uniform sucked up the smell and became part of my body chemistry.

EWWW...I need deconned.

The monitor showed a siuns tach (rhythm over 100 beats per minute) which was something I did not want to see in this instance. Looking for an IV site, I told my partner to get up and drive...and drive fast...this woman was going to buy a tube...and soon.

No access for a line, I gave an Albuterol treatment which improved her some..but not a lot.  Considering Lasix IM (intramuscluar) I found that my partner not only drove fast, but had Scottie beam us right to the hospital.

Man, that was fast.

Wheeling her in, the PA came right in to assess as he heard her lungs.  I told him the story..he kept a heads of for Hell on wheels.

This is just my first call....and it is only 9:00 AM.


The day progressed into what I thought was only going to be and isolated incident. A few transports here, a welfare check there.

Things were good..things looked like Traumatus focused elsewhere on some poor soul out in a corn field who is trying to extricate a farm accident victim..amd gives them rain and thunder to work with.

Or some Island hopper who has to repel to get someone who fell on a trail...50 feet down with high wind. (That was for you Scott..)

No, he stuck his ugly head around..and gave me a little more of his wrath.

The phone rang...

An accident down the street.

Normally, I would think this is routine...but this hasn't been a routine day.

Getting into the squad, we proceeded to get to the call with ease. Seeing that there was no further info with radio traffic, I thought this would be cut and dry...

Until I got there....

Traumatus strikes again....

To be continued.....

Rounding Third and Heading Home,






18 October 2004

Like A Good Neighbor

18 October 2004

"Like A Good Neighbor"

"Help others before you help yourself".

This was something that my mother always told me.

"The gratification you have in helping your neighbor will outweigh any material possessions that you have and will help you when it is time to go to Heaven."

Mom said this.

Mom was wise.

Mom has never done Mutual Aid.

0500 hours

Snuggled underneath my down comforter, I could hear the sounds of the autumn wind rustle against the building deflecting off the window and whirling the leaves that have fallen off the gorgeous orange-leaved maple that sits in front of my apartment complex. The morning sun has not shown up yet as it sits somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean at this time of day probably having its first cup of morning coffee.

I smiled with my content as the visions of sugar plums danced in my head. (Hey..K-Mart has thier Christmas stuff out already so why shouldn't I reference it.)

Sleeping away and dreaming vividly, a familiar voice enters my head with a methodical tone in which I was all to familiar with.

"Lorain County 911..attention Elyria Township Fire Department...."

That shouldn't have been in my dream...I have been working too hard.

Opening my eyes, I continue to hear Donna's voice, http://www.livejournal.com/users/traumamamma/ coming from the pager that is in the dining room. 

This is not a dream (I HOPE it is not a dream) comng from the little Motorola box assigned to me from the fire department telling me "Get you butt up...you got a call!!!"

Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I stumbled out of bed to grab some jeans and slipping into some Nike's, I managed to make it to my Jeep and started the trek to the station with lights and sirens active.  I have a feeling it is going to be a LONG morning.

Four minutes later, I arrived at the station. Normally, I am one of the last there seeing I have the furthest commute. What can I say..Traffic was light this morning.

Inside the station was a rookie and a Captain..and that was it.  With me that made three (1+1+1=3..I double checked the math).  I grabbed my gear and jumped up front.  Looks like I was going to play pump operator today. No worries...I learned this....three days ago.

We were off to a neighboring city to the west. They had a raging structurefire and needed fill in at their station.  Another department also was toned and was already en route to the scene.

It was a nice morning for a drive anyways.

Arriving at the station that we were covering, we pulled into the apparatus garage and was met by the department dispatcher who gave us the nickel tour and welcomed us to their home.

The radio traffic was constant and informative as the blaze took more effort than projected yet, stayed within the control of the station personnel. 

Manning the station, we assisted the crews on site in refilling SCBA (Self Contained Breathing Apparatus) bottles, making coffee for the on scene crews, and making phone calls to utility companies and the Red Cross seeing it was an occupied home.

The time seemed to go quick. We waited for our turn in the action.

That never happened.  The crews put out the fire, and the clean up was almost done.

Looking out of the window,  I saw the sun had come up and began to warm the already cold and gray sky.

Apparently the story goes as this...

The Sheriff went this house earlier in the evening for a domestic disturbance. Whether it got resolved or not, I don't know. But ironic, on how 5 hours later, the house goes up in flames...

Things that make you go "hmmm."

Leaving the station, we enjoyed the morning air and the view coming off the eastern horizion.  It was rather breath-taking and relaxing after being up half the night.

Pulling into the station, we put the fire truck to rest and began to start reports.

The captain who was on the call with us was also on duty this morning so I decided to do the right thing and tell him, I would cover for him while he goes home and showers and gets ready.

Famous last words...."Yeah, I'll be fine..it is only an hour".

Someone slap me.

Sitting in the radio room with the other on duty personnel and the rookie firefighter, we chewed up some time by normal chit-chat and humor.

Then..the fun began...all over again.

Tones dropped for the neighboring township to the north this time.

"Possible DOA" came over the radio.

Well, I think that they can handle this.

Normally they call for mutual aid more often than not seeing that it is harder to staff their station during the day.  Not uncommon for us to run a call over there while they are short...it happens.

The radio was silent...no response from the department.

9-1-1 called over the radio to them...

Still no response....


Tones again...same message,,,

No response....

"Guys, get your gear..I have a feeling we are going uptown." I told the guys who already made a bee line to the squad.

9-1-1 called yet again....

Still...no response...

Silence engulfed the airwaves...it was coming...just a matter of when...

Tones dropped for thie third time..this time with a different pattern.

This time it was OUR tones.

The call was for the same call that our neighboring department was dispatched for...a possible DOA.

Getting into the truck, we began to high tail it to the address to lend some assistance..or in this case, take over the call.

On my way there, I was thinking to myself.."Watch her have a pulse and I work her all the way to the hospital...all this because I covered someone for 45 minutes."

Letting out a deep sigh, it was time to get my gameface on.  If, by some chance I DO have to work her..I am determined to bring her back..

It's Go time.

Entering the house, I can see the family on the couch in the living room visibly shaken and being comforted by other neighbors and police who happen to get there first.

In the back bedroom, was our patient. Sitting in a chair..lifeless...with obvious signs of death.

It looked like she died in her sleep..without vain, and without lack of companionship...

I popped the monitor on her to confirm ceasation of electrical activity.

Lead I..asystole.

Lead II...asystole.

Lead III...asystole.

She had expired...there was no use trying.

Gathering info from the family, I expressed my condolences and offered any help that I could.  It just never seems like enough...no matter how many times you go through it.

Okay..once again, we went to the station...THIS time..I was leaving..I have had my fun for the day.

Getting home, I looke at the clock and saw that it was almost 11 AM..I had been up and working for almost 6 hours now...on my day off..

I Think it is time for a long deserved nap...before I have to go back in for training...

The hits just keep on coming.

Rounding Third and heading home,




16 October 2004

The "Thank You" Prank

16 October 2004

"The "Thank You" Prank

One thing about being on 24 hour shifts is that you are locked in with other crews for that time period.  These crews become your second family. Your brothers and your sisters and, in essence, your second (and sometimes first) family.

Being together for four months out of the year, you tend to share in the victory of their lives and mourn in their defeats.  But, when the clock is ticking, these crew members are there for you..no matter what.

Pranks are a way of lightening up the monotimy of our everyday lives within the station and bringing a little humor to it.  As long as the jokes don't harm the other or anyone around it, it will be considered a classic and show, also, that one can hold their own...and has a sense of humor.

1500 hours

In our apparatus bay, we have a dry erase board that is broken down into three sections. One for each squad.  If by some chance that a piece of equipment was left at the hospital or a message to call someone came in, we mark it on that board under the respective squad.

I come back to a message written on it....that took the WHOLE board.

Shawn, who is on 94, like to accentuate things and, at the same time, embarrass where he can.  A simple little "hey, call this person." would hvae been sufice, but not for Shawn. He decided to advertise my phone call (which was nothing to be embarrassed about). So, I thought, it was time to pay Shawn back for his "secretarial" skills.

Let the games begin..

(Trumpets are playing in the backround and the combatants have entered the field).

Erasing the board, I took the dry erase marker and wrote "Thank You, Shawn" on the whole length of the board.  I think you could see the message from 2 blocks down.

You know...I just don't think that is good enough.  Hmmm.....

What more could I do to show my "appreciation" to him?

Ah yes, I better extend my gratitude with a personal note written.

Make that 5 notes written...and placed stategically, where only he would get them.

Those places were:

On the Mirror in the bathroom.

On the Toliet seat in the bathroom.

In the shower,

On his locker,

and on his two liter of Pepsi.

I think that will get the point across.

Leaving for a call, I came back within the hour. Going to my bedroom, the Empire had struck back.

(Play villianous music here)

Opening the door to my bedroom, a web of medical tape canvased the door with a lone note in the middle of it...stating,

"You're Welcome."

And the visiting team is on the score board!!!

Very nice...then it got better.

Going to turn the light switch on, I noticed the switch had a new panel around it...and it said "You're welcome".

Okay, now it was time to play secret agent and see if anything else was laced with the noted gesture.

Two more were found with the sweep. One on the dresser facing my bed, and one in the sleeping bag on my bed.

(Gets game face on)

It's on now!!!!!

Now, I just can't HAVE this. I CANNOT give up the last laugh to him....

Time to put the women and children to bed and go looking for dinner, folks.

Sceaming as to how I can "one up" him, I came with several ideas, and I methodically began to place my cards on the table.

Sneaking into the bay, ( Yes, I have to sneak into my OWN bay because there is a big picture window that shines through from the living room to the bays and you can see all), I entered 94 from the patient compartment. Moving past the cot, I took the box of gloves that laid in the front of the cab and took four of them out.

Spreading out the gloves, I took my ink pen, moved the glove to the palm side, and wrote "Thank You" on them...then I put the gloves back in the box.

The home team drives the length of the field and scores...

Let's see what you have now....

A call came in for both of us and we took off to our respective areas.  94 got back to the station before we did...and it was apparent.

Normally, you can see through the bay doors of the station seeing they are glass all the way up.


The light was not shining out of our bay...


Turning in...now I see why.

Hurrying back, Shawn decided to try and score another point for his side...He succeeded.

The WHOLE bay door (mind you, the door is 9 feet high) is covered in paper....with the words "You're welcome".

Oh my, what a drive by the visiting team...

Ringdown...a call coming in.

Driving to the other side of town, I had to think of a way that I could cap off a victory here.

When I got on scene...I see that I was losing.

Opening up the patient compartment, stickers where placed everywhere...on the monitor, on the cot, the IV bag, and even in the jump kit....all saying "you're welcome"

I got schooled...

OH FOLKS...a steal and a score for the visiting team, the home team is down..can they come back???

The gloves are off now.

Transferring the patient to the ER. I had two more ideas...and I was going to execute them...

Getting back to the station, I went into our little office area and stole a whole bunch of paper.  Finding a Sharpie marker, I wrote one letter on each of the pieces from the ream I stole...all 21 pieces..all 8"x11"...

All of them I taped to the side of his ambulance...that should get his attention.

What an amazing comeback by the home team...it is bottom of the 9th, the score is tied.....it's tme for the big one, sports fans.

Time for the finale. Time to separate the men from the boys. It is time to put this one to bed.

Grabbing my partner, I drove up to the hospital, scemeing my last move..hoping for the fastballl to hit over the fence. We parked, and I walked in..talked to the charge nurse..who laughed at what I told her and told me to have free reign...so I did.

I plasetered over 20 "Thank you, Shawn" messages all over the ER...with some stratigically placed.

One on the sliding door entering the ER,

One above the keypad letting you in,

One on the supply cart where we restock the squads,

One on the assignment board where it is posted which bed to go on,

One on the door leading to registration,

and two, on patients that heard what was up and wanted to participate...so I posted one on each of thier gowns.

There were other stragetically placed..but those were the highlighted ones.

I'm Done...it was late.

The wind up and the pitch.....a swing and a LOOOOOONG drive down the left field line....WAAAAAAAAAAY back...GONE!!!!"

I would think I won.

Rounding third and heading home,






15 October 2004

Why we are here

15 October 2004

Star of LifePOLICE

"Why we are here"


Folks, I wanted to take a few minutes and share a little more personal side to my job.  This is not about any runs that I may have went on or anyone that I have encountered as of late.  This is a more deeper issue. A more "closer to home" issue. It is something that makes us exactly who we are.

I get up every morning of a shift at 7 AM and do my morning routine as to get ready. I make sure my uniform is neat, my boots are polished, and that I have the proper outer wear as to be comfortable.

I get to work and spend more than a half hour checking my equipment and making sure that I have everything I may need to help preserve life and make people more comfortable.

I work 24 hour shift, EVERY shift, and there are moments that I go through it without eating or sleeping at all. 

The weather is really irrelevent seeing that it can be 100+ degrees, or the middle of a blizzard. If you need me, I will come to you.

Whoever thinks that we do this job for the money or the glory, needs to stop watching so much "Third Watch" and realize that for every call that DOES get recognition, there are hundreds that don't. 

Paychecks are rarely ever huge and if they are, it is because we are overtime hogs and work in excess of 100 hours in a week.

I do this job for one reason, and one reason only.

To help those that need it...and to be the one that they can rely on.

The basis as to what we do doesn't stop to just us. It flows over to hospice nurses, RN's, First Responders, Dispatchers, and all others that day-to-day, interact with people making them better, or comforting their pain.

There is no other feeling in the world to see into the eyes of a patient who reaches for you and grabs your hand and tells you "thank you" after you just improved their breathing, elevated thier leg that hurts, or just covering them up with a blanket so they don't freeze.

Glory takes a very back seat to compassion and compassion is only good, if you have heart.

I do my job for you, the public, whom in their time of need and desperation, call upon me and my brothers and sisters, to help aleviate some of the chaos within your crisis.

My love for people shows that even with death, there is life. For moments, you become part of that person's life and family. Whether it is for a second, or for the rest of their lives.

Compassion never dies...and the day it does, is the day I quit.

So, for all of you out there, please take a minute and thank those who help you help others in your everyday life. It extends out of the medical realm to others such as teachers, clergy, and even a best friend who will listen and be there for you when you need.

This I am dedicating to two people today.

First is to Bobbie, in whom, she deals with death every day, and goes back with a positive attitude to help begin the healing process and grieves with the families of those whom are living life in a greater place.

And to Beverly, who never gets a thank you, yet, has the compassion to change the lives of those she takes care of...everyday.

Rounding Third and heading Home,



14 October 2004

The Bonus Package

14 October 2004

"The Bonus Package"

Autumn at Dawn. 

The deep blues of the night sky lighten throughout the city as the sun begins it ascent above the eastern sky.  The reminince of night is accented by the reds, oranges, golds, browns, and yellows of the fall foliage which create a soft glow at horizion level.

The cool, crisp air of the autumn equinox refreshes the soul and senses as it barely tips the fairenheit scale above 50 gently tossing fallen leaves around and combing through flags extending them to their full glory.

It is the time that each year, I love to feel, it is the time of season that really raises your spirits, it is....

Tones drop....

...the time that will have to wait.

0755 hours

10 blocks. That is all that separated Kim and I from the promised land.  10 blocks was the safe zone where our sleeping giant would rest until the next crew came in.

10 blocks. I could smell the coffee from where I was.  I could feel the next crews coming in to relieve us. I could almost taste victory.

10 blocks.


"91, respond to ________ for a person who has fallen down. Unknown injuries. 94 will be responding from station 1...fire is also responding"



Were we not adult enough to handle a call by ourselves? I mean, I know that everyone needs to be babysat for a little bit, but c'mon....

A fall???

Even I don't think I could screw this up.

And what is this with "Fire" going? They never went on fall calls before unless you call them, and now, at teh earliest part of our morning, they are gonna respond?

Must be voting season.

Flipping on the lights and sirens, I began to TRY to pull out of traffic.


Being the third one in the back of the line, I needed about 10 feet to squeeze out and get moving on the call. The minivan in front of me gave me 8.  Blaring the airhorn, I tried to get this oblivious driver to at least pull up...I know that "moving to the left" was gonna be asking way too much.


Every OTHER car around us seemed to get the idea..except the one in front.

Going through all three tones of the siren, this "courteous driver still failed to yield while I was pulling out.

Okay..NOW I have had it. If I had etched any closer to his car. I would have been sitting in his back seat.  Time to move them.

Putting the truck in park, I got out and tapped on the glass of the vehicle.

A figure looked at me and began rolling the window down. A lady on a cell phone gave me a puzzled look.


"Ma'am, I am not sure as to where you live, but out here, we tend to move for the big trucks with lots of lights and noise." I told her.

Looking in her rear view mirror, she changed the look on her face to suprised. 

"Oh, I am so sorry, I didn't know you were there." she fed me an excuse.

Well, I can see that, lady. I mean it is EXTREMELY hard to miss that big white truck within 10 feet of your car, making sounds out of 2 100 watt speakers and has more lights than Times Square at Christmas.

It happens...just not in this country.

Finally evading the mobile phone motorist, we pulled around and began to head to the address.

Now I began to have a different goal.

I gripped the wheel and slowly  squeezed the accelerator with my foot weaving in and out of early morning traffic, quickly changing from the city buildings to the residential zones of the town. focusing ahead of the game, I watched for any hazards that might arise and further irritate my faith in the civilian driver.

I had a goal, a mission, a purpose.  My goal....to beat 94 to the scene.

(Okay, so it is lame..I need little joys in my career life.)

Within a few minutes of response, we pulled into a neighborhood where all the houses looked the same. The color, the style, even the yardwork. This shouldn't be THAT hard to find...sigh.

It wasn't...you always just look for the big, red fire truck. Go to the blocked driveway, and that is your house you are looking for.

Never fails...hasn't yet.

Kim and I walk in to see the fire lieutenant with a relieved look on his face slowly making his way toward us.  This was different.

"Okay, he is over here and she is in there. He fell and she can't breathe."

Two patients??? 

I must have missed that part of the story.

Kim and I exchanged glances.

"Boy-girl, boy-girl?" I looked and asked her.

She smiled and nodded and headed for the gentleman that was on the floor.

I made my way into the bedroom.

My patient was a little old lady in her late 70's that was sitting on a bed-side camode with her daughter in tow to help her.  Looking at her, she was a sweet, little old lady who actually looked a little older than she appeared.

If Yoda was a person, this lady would have been her.

Getting the history of the patient, I found that the shortness of breath started this morning and when she got up to get some help, she fell out of bed. 

Talk about bad luck.

She complained of some pain, but was unable to specify where, exactly, it was. I began my work up as Kim took intial care of the other patient.  Hooking up some oxygen, I saw through the door the 94 crew arriving. In the backround I hear Kim telling Andy what had happened and then joining me in moving the patient.

Securing her, we moved her to the squad. While loading, I could see the 94 crew leaving the scene.

Sigh, I wanted to beat them to the hospital too..must be the competitive nature.

Hooking up the patient to all the gizmos and gadgets that come with this type of call, the lady proceeded to tell me about her further medical history.

Poor lady was a train wreck waiting to happen. I sympatized with her and began steps into making her more comfortable.

Now it was time to start the IV.

It wasn't a matter of WHERE I was going to start it, but rather WHICH vein to use.

Her veins popped up so large, I could hve driven a Mack truck with a needle at the end of it into it..and made it.  Hooking up the line, we began our decent to the hospital.

Minutes later, we arrived following 94 into the ER.

Moving on down the line, the charge nurse approached us asking "Is this the wife? Bed 5"

Movnig around the department, we wheeled the patient into the assigned room. in the next cubicle was her husband. They decided to put the two together, side by side, and within view.

Giving the nurses reports, Shawn and I razzed each other about patient care and gave a little inter-shift humor.  It is part of being a family...and a perk of the job.

Time to go home now. The shift was long and wore me out.  Practical Jokes were played all night between Shawn and myself (I will write about that soon) so I am well spent. It is time to finish up and get the heck out of Dodge.

A thank you to all of you who read my journal and repetively comeback. I have achieved the triple crown by being awarded to the Editor's picks this week.  I don't know what to say but "Thank you".  My job as a paramedic is gratifying enough for me each day. You, the readers, put the icing on the cake.

Rounding Third and Heading Home,




12 October 2004

The Beginning of the Food Chain

12 October 2004

"The Beginning of the Food Chain"

Hey all.

Have you ever wondered what it is like to be on the receiving end of the initial call for help?  People screaming, Parents swearing, Kids playing.

Ever wonder how it feels to be one of four people that for eight hours, is responsinble for more than 300,000 people in the sense of getting them proper help when they call.

Imagine, having to quarterback from a console, with no more than a few seconds allowed, to identify not only WHAT the problem is, but WHERE it is, and most of all, WHO to send.

There is a certain group of people in the rescue chain that almost EVERYONE forgets about.  They are the person, remaining calm, when you are calling for help, the one who activates EMS, Fire, and Police. They are the ones who brings calm to chaos.

These are your 911 operators.

Below is a link for a new journal that hasn't gotten much attention due to the fact that it is not an AOL journal, yet one on livejournal.  The writing style is similar to mine and the suspense is there also.

Please, if you can, stop on by and give it a whirl. Leave a comment to.

It is a brief aspect as to what the operators go through.


Rounding Third and Heading Home-


Changing Lanes

12 October 2004

"Changing Lanes"

Today, I thought I would give you a little perspective on my OTHER job as a firefighter and the activity that is produced from that.  Seeing it has been where I was for the last few days, it thoughts are still fresh in my head, so, why not share them with my journal family.

Life as a Paramedic begins now.

0645 Hours

Taking the trash out, I went back into my bedroom at the EMS station to change for my next tour. My partner was sleeping on the couch. It seemed as if the movie he was watching outlasted him as some infomercial was playing on the screen.

I went in back and changed into my uniform. (and it is a REAL uniform...sorry..still a little bitter) and walked out to do a final check on the squad. Everything looked in place, so it was time for me to peace out.

Todd, came in a few minutes early, as he was my replacement, so I gave him the cliffnotes version as to what went on last night, who was up in rotation, and where his partner was.  With the changing of the guards, I was off to the fire station...which is only 3 miles away.

Now, it is Monday morning and a Holiday for some, hiwever, traffic was still a little heavy and really impeding me progress.  Why is it that no matter WHAT kind of car it is, if they see an emergency light, even in the window (this is there I have mine at), they tend to slow down thinking you will pull them over.

Step on it grandpa..it is the vertical pedal on the right.  Thinking to myself, "Gosh, I should just light up and go," I know that patience is a virtue...a virtue that I have never had.

Seven minutes later, I am at the station.

A quick view as to our fire department. Where I work, in Elyria Township, it is a volunteer department.  Each member of the department carries a radio pager which is activated by the county 9-1-1 center in the event of a call. A series of tones will play, then a message as to what type of call will be heard from the pager.  Almost everyone had lights and sirens in their vehicles and respond to the station accordingly.  Not to try to brag (I wouldn't want to upset a certain fan of mine..you know who you are), we generally get a really good response and almost never have to call for mutual aid. 

The station runs EMS out of it along with the normal fire duties that we carry.

During the day, seven days a week, our station is manned with 2 people. Usually, a senior firefighter or officer, and a paramedic. This way, if a call comes in, we have personnel that can start going if a fire comes in, or a squad is staffed and can respond immediately.

We work from 7 AM - 7 PM with roughly 450 calls a year combined.

ANYWAY...back to the story.

I got into the station parking lot and saw that I was the first one there.  Russ, who I work with a lot, usually is coming from his other job so he is a bit late. An agreement that had been worked out with the chief, he is usually there about 10 minutes behind me.

0702 hours.

I checked the log to see what calls had happened since my last shift two days ago. Opening the log, I noticed that the last call in the book was logged by me.


That means two things.

One, the shift yesterday didn't go on ANY calls at all, and

Two, we were gonna get pounded today....Sigh, I guess it is a good thing I slept.

Briefly glancing out the window, I noticed a car pulling into the lot.  I ASSUMED it was Russ...I was wrong.

The door opened and in walked Russ' wife Sue, who is alos on the department. Sue was wearing plain clothes.


"What are you doing here, Sue?" I politely asked her.

Sue gave me a blank stare.

With that look, I heard a siren in the backround and it seemed to be getting closer.

"Do we have a call?" I asked her.

"You didn't hear the tone go off?" She asked me.

Looking in my bag, I pulled my pager out staring at it (like that was gonna do anything) realizing, that I had left it off to save the battery while I was at work and forgot to turn it on once I got into the station.

"What kind of call is it?" I asked again.

Sue hit the playback button on her pager. A voice came over the speaker.

"Lorain County 9-1-1. Attention Elyria Township Fire Department. The ambulance is requested at ________ Street for a male with abdominal pain. 9-1-1 clear at 0701."

0701? So I missed the tone by literally seconds as I walked in a tad late, HOWEVER, I made it into the station before the 9-1-1 printout was created and sent to our department.  Talk about timing.

I walked out to the squad and started up the sleeping giant. Pulling the microphone out, I called en route as Russ showed up and jumped in with us.

"Elyria Township 116 to 9-1-1, we are en route with 3."

The sounds of white noise imminated from the radio and the red and white lights of the squad, illuminated the dark pre dawn sky.

The trip to the house didn't take all of 2 minutes. I had a feeling that this was going to be something different than what we thought...

Boy, was I right.

Walking in, I found a man sitting on a chair flushed complaining of severe abdominal pain and stating blood in his urine.  To be honest, this would have been a great deal of concern to me...if I had not been focused on the fact that he had severe wheezes when he breathed.

The first thing in school they teach you about is your ABC's.

A is airway, B is breathing, and C is circulation.  If any of these are compromised, don't even bother moving on to the next steps.

Russ and I looked at each other and I got a history while he listened to lung sounds.

Pulling the Stethoscope back, Russ looked at me shaking his head.

"He has crackles and wheezes in all lobes."

Oh boy...this is bad.  What this means is that his lungs are A) filling up with fluid, or B) not opening up enough to pull in air.

He had more problems than he though. I needed to load and go.

The patient was phyisically getting tired which was another concern. If he had gotten anymore tired, I would have to breathe for him..and I really didn't want to do that.

Loading him into the squad, Russ began looking for an IV site, Sue hooked up an Albuterol Treatment..I got some vital signs.  Looking over his body, I could see that there was some swelling in his legs which is indicitive fo Congestive Heart Failure. (Lesson to be taught later).  The edema in his legs was what I noted as "+4 second", not a good indicator.

Fast Forwarding a bit, we got the line and I gave him some Lasix ( a diuretic which helps pull fluid off the lungs and heart making it easier to breathe).  He showed some mild improvement along with the Albuterol that I gave him.  Wheeling him in, I gave the report to the nurse who, upon further review (sounds like instant replay), found that this patient was a little more serious than I thought.

Writing up the report, I was just getting ready to leave when the nurse told me to come where he was.

"Dude, you have to check this out..he has an AICD (a pacemaker with a defribrilator in it) and it just fired..he went into V-Tach and it shocked him back..good thing you got him here." He told me.

Stunned, I left and told the rest of the crew.  V-Tach is a rhythm where, if you don't treat it right away, the odds are more than great that you will arrest and stop living.

If anyone needed the ambulance..it was him.

Two more calls happened in the shift which is busier than normal for us, but was handled rather quickly and no lives were lost.

Today, I am at home doing some much needed house work.  It will give me a few hours to recover...until I have to go back in tomorrow.

The patient I mentioned, didn't think he needed the ambulance. He called just to please his daughter who was worried about him.  Had I not taken him..there is a chance he could have died at home.

If, for any reason, you are sick or injured and have even the SLIGHTEST doubt that you may need medical care.  Call us, that is what we are here for. I would rather sign you off saying that "I talked to the doctor and he said you can stay home if you wish" than having to come and get you while your heart has stopped..and giving you the final ride of your existance. 

9-1-1..it is three numbers...the most powerful numbers in the world.

Rounding Third and heading home,


09 October 2004

There is one in every crowd

08 October 2004

"There is one in every crowd"

Comment Added
A comment has been posted to the Journal:
Life as a paramedic
Damnest Thing I Ever Saw
Comment from: stigs69
"You EMS suckers...whats the matter, could pass the written test for the police, couldn't carry a hose up 6 flights of stairs...yeah women like a man in uniform, a real uniform, not that fake nonsense that anyone can join.  What makes a hero, the person who goes in first not the maid who cleans up after."

You know..there is nothing that frost my butt more than someone who thinks that their crap don't stink.

Normally, I would just let this go (the comment posted above, in which I deleted from my journal, but saved this), but hey, it is debate season...so.....let's debate.

stigs69@aol.com believes that I can't hold a real job and that being a paramedic is a "sucker" job.

Perhaps it is. Maybe I AM a sucker. Maybe I DO clean up after the mess is all done. But for you, oh non-believer of the EMS field. I will endulge your inferior intellect and correct to your statement.

I HAVE passed the police test AND had gotten hired by a department in which I turned down due to the fact that it just wasn't what I want to do.  Holding a degree in criminal justice, I sought to avenge other avenues that would entertain as to what I liked.

A fireman. I hate to break it to you, but I AM a fireman too and work actively on a fire department.  Why don't I write about it? Well, because I have more EMS than fire calls..and do you really want to hear how "the house was burning..I put water on it...the fire was out..I lit up a cigarette."  I would bet that in your life, you couldn't extend a garden hose without having to stop for a breath of air.  Six stories? Wow..you are letting me off easy.

You know, it is easy to play Monday Morning quarterback and tell me, and everyone else in my field, that our job is not real, that it is meaningless. Well, to you it may be..for those who have called the ambulance..it had meant the world.

This entry is not meant to be a fight and nor will I further engage into any altercations as to a block will be added for my "faithful reader".  It HAS seemed that you have entered more than one comment on my site.

This will be easy...if you don't like what I write, don't read it then.

So..I end here..I apologize to all whom think I am getting out of control and am out of line.

For you stigs69@aol.com, I think your boss is calling...there seems to be a need to change the paper in the men's room.

Oh..one more thing..

Don't hate the player...hate the game.

Roundung third and heading home,


05 October 2004

Next Stop...Time Magazine

05 October 2004

"Next Stop...Time Magazine"

Well...What can I say.

I got an Email from Scott the other night stating that I am AOL's "Man in Uniform" for what appears to be the month of October.

To my suprise, I went to AOL keyword "men" and there I was.

Maybe Time magazine will call soon..I better check my voice mail.

Stay tuned for more new stories..I have a BUNCH to share...but 108 hours of work in 5 days has taken a bit of a toll on me....

So I am going to bed.

Rounding Third and Heading Home,



02 October 2004

Nice Shot!!!!

02 October 2004

"Nice Shot!!!"

Anyone got any coffee??

<rubs eyes>

Last time I was in my apartment, man it seemed like September. 

Slavin' for the man can take a toll on ones body, ones mind, ones soul.  It will drain all the life out of you while still amonishing ones self to run on vapors.  Sleeping becomes overrated and ones mood is replaced by an evil you, a bitter you, a "get in the damn ambulance" kinda attitude that you try not to bring out, but you know it is staring on the inside looking out..waiting to take charge of your conscience.  Your thought preception questions as to whether or not you are actually doing a specific task..such as driving.  Your mind tells you to turn left...but your body is so tired that by the time you realize this, that left is a quarter mile back.


It creates some really great stories.

It had been busy for the most part if the last two days. Some of the calls that I went on were thought provoking, some were idiotic, and some...well, you just write about...

1211 hours

"91, I need you to respond into Grafton for a MVA. Grafton fire request assistance."

Well now, ain't that special.

Grafton is a small villiage that is south of our service area who run volunteer fire and EMSNormally, they do not have an ALS (Advanced Life Support..I.E. Paramedic) staffed on their trucks and usually (big stress on usually) are pretty self sufficent. But, every once in a while, they call in the varsity team to come and help them out a bit.

Starting to part traffic for the, close to ten minute, ride to the scene, I looked at the address as to where the accident was located.  What came up on our MDT was that of a car lot. The accident was in front of this.



This provides a wide array of thought to my measily little mind as to WHAT we were really going on.  But come on, What do YOU think really happened???


This is a big moment.  You have decided to buy a new car. You have shopped for months and have wheeled and dealed your financing to an acceptable rate. You sign the title papers and with a handshake and an escort to your vehicle, you sit down inside what is the trophy of your ventures.

The new car smell ambiates and relinqueshes your senses as to the "smell of victory". You pull out your cell phone sporting your new look. Dialing your first friend to brag about your winnings and to set up a ride a long with them, you pull out into traffic.

You car glistens into the sun, radiating a heavenly glow about it. You feel alive..you feel refreshed..you feel yourself getting slammed from the passenger side of your new car.

I guess you should have checked traffic first before hitting speed dial.

That is what I though. That is not what happened.

This is even better.

Coming into the villiage, I can see that traffic was slowly backing up. What was already a tight turn and narrow road was about to become anorexic.

Pulling up on scene, we pulled into the parking lot of the dealership.  Not an accident that I would call out the helicopter for,  but the events that took place are rather humorous.

  Vehicle one...the patient's vehicle.

The Ford Focus.   The Focus is the replacement of the, ever aging, Escort that had made Ford a powerhouse in the automobile industry.  A great little car that gets very good gas mileage is one of the most common cars on the market.

Retail estimate is about $14,000 give or take option packages.

The patient was driving her Focus and came to the hard left turn. While negotiating the curve, the patient blacked out. continuing the turn, going left of center, through a front lawn, and into a parked car in the sales lot. Airbags deployed, and moderate damage to the vehicle ensued.

The patient was found sitting on the front lawn, more disgusted than anything. Denying any pain, I convinced her to come with us as the syncopal episode she had concerned me as it had never happened before to her and I suggested a trip to the hospital for some test that needed to be evaluated. 

The patient was reluctant, but convinced by my charm (whatever) to go with us. Some test would be needed and blood would be drawn. I could do that for her.

We loaded her up and conferred with the fire department as to where we were going and such.

Oh yeah....you wanted the funny part.

Assisting us in loading the patient was a gentleman dressed in a suit.  Pale skinned, he really didn't say a whole lot. I thought he may pass out too.  Then I found out why...

He was the salesperson in the lot.

But it gets better.

It is not the fact that she hit one of the cars causing extensive damage, it is WHAT car she hit that makes it funny.

Drum roll please....


2004 Chevy Astro


Ladies and Gentlemen....The Chevy SSR

A Hybrid of Truck and Corvette, this old school looking pick up has the power of a sports car and the looks of a classic vehicle.

Fast, sleek, sporty..it is a hot ticket item.

Oh yeah......

The Sticker on this truck she hit....


I guess if you are gonna hit a car..get the most expensive one in the lot.

Rounding Third and Heading Home,